Over the last several years in the Los Angeles improv community, I was recklessly damaging women’s feelings, sense of self, and crossing personal boundaries. In July and August of 2015, there was private comedy women in LA Facebook group that brought my name forward as someone who had been pursuing aggressively, harassing, and being insensitive and careless with several women in the community. I was recklessly damaging women’s feelings, sense of self, and crossing personal boundaries. I have finally realized the way I treated women like interchangeable playthings to be discarded when I wasn’t interested anymore; and at the same time, carelessly hit on their friends and our colleagues with a lack of respect for anyone’s feelings above my own wasn't right. Several women stated they felt harassed by my aggressive and forward approach and/or felt intimidated to say something to me because of my visible involvement in the community as a performer, coach and eventually, a teacher. It’s awful, not just for me, but for everyone involved, that it took a group of women deciding privately they needed to air this publicly for me to really learn this and see a reason to change. But that’s what they felt was the right thing to do. It’s taken therapy, serious soul searching, and self-education to accept my punishment. Which I do. I lost almost everything I worked for and everyone in the last decade of my life. No matter how I feel about that loss, how everything was handled, or what was said, it wouldn’t have started in the first place if it wasn’t for me. I have to take my responsibility as the person who destroyed my own career and life with my choices and actions. And I do. I wasn’t a healthy person making the best choices for me or those around me. I was trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it with sexual conquests. I punished other people with my own issues I wasn’t dealing with in a healthy way.
To everyone I hurt directly or indirectly because of this awful situation: I am truly sorry. My words and how I treated you came from a selfish and destructive place that had to do more with my own ego and seeing how far I could take and get away with things than giving women the autonomous respect they deserve. I know this may be less adequate than a private apology, but I don’t want to bother anyone who would rather move on than hear from me personally again. If you want to finally get your rightful apology, a full explanation, or just tell me how I made you feel, that’s something you should do. Otherwise I will hope this helps in some small way towards closure.
Maybe this is too little too late. I was scared that anything I’d say would be fuel on the fire when all I wanted to do was just disappear forever. But I’m hoping this could be a right time as I take all the steps I can to change and better myself and serve as a reminder to everyone. Treat each other with the respect and care we all deserve, and be absolutely honest and forthright with your words and clear with your intentions, no matter how difficult that may be. Hopefully you can learn from my mistakes so things like this don’t have to keep happening.